She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
