No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
