why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
