thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
