He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize