I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
