he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize