I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
