I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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