Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
