You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Alive.
So much puke
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
