I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
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