Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize