And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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