Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
