Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
