Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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