oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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