The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
