Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
as a side note pls kill me
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
