He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
