just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
last night I used snow as a chaser
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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