i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
