so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
