she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
