So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
