She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize