I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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