16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
