and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
