It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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