I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
