My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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