I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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