and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
