By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
