ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
