Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
