Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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