maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
