he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
