Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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