i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize