I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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