Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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