That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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