he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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