I'm so fucking centered right now
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
