Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
