I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
