i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
