My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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