Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
