:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
home. puking in laundry basket.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize