I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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